Arkashean Q&A Session -- 056
SORA: How can you tell when you're up there?
THERRY: You can't.
SORA: Well, then is it best to listen to what the person says even if it's the so-called Dark Side, or is it best to stop the experience?
THERRY: Each individual has to decide that for himself.
SORA: Well, there has to be rules. How do you find out what the rules are in something like that? Or guideposts, or something?
THERRY: Well, see, the problem comes in not everybody is capable of controlling themselves, so, to the degree that you are stable enough to control yourself on all levels, to that degree can you listen to anything. To the degree that you're not stable enough or honest enough, to that degree should you not listen, because you could hear things and it doesn't matter what level you hear it on, you could hear things and you could, if it suits you, rationalize. So then the question comes which is better? To hear what is said, and then rationalize and then go ahead and do it anyway in order to get what you want? Or just not hear it, and therefore not being able to rationalize.
SORA: Well, is there any sort of situation where you can validate what's said?
THERRY: Isn't that what rationalization is? Trying to validate what you want?
SORA: Rationalization is the definition that you just gave, but I don't think that's the definition of validation. It's like I realized about the thing with Laurie, that I didn't validate anything I'd heard with reality. I had just gone off with what I had supposedly heard, and just kinda took it from there without really looking at reality. If I had used reality, then I might have gotten a different outcome in my own mind, regardless of what I wanted.
THERRY: Seems to me that if you had looked with reality, that meant that you would have been more honest with yourself and see things the way they are.
SORA: Well, that's what I mean by validating it with reality, yeah.
THERRY: Okay, but see, you have to have honesty built inside of you as an axiom in order to be able to use it. If you have a habit of validating whatever you want in order to get what you want by using rationalization, then there is no guidepost. The only guidepost is Maat. Maat is the only defense against anything.
SORA: Maat, is that what you're saying? What's--
THERRY: Yeah, Maat, inner truth. If you don't have that, if it's not a habit of yours, if you have a habit of rationalizing and not bothering to check the facts or going emotional or whatever, just so you end up getting what you wanted out of things, then you don't have Maat, and therefore you don't have that guidepost, you don't have that built-in security. In which case you're better off to sew up your ears when you go into the alter levels.
SORA: So that's why it's better not to rationalize things on this level.
THERRY: It destroys Maat.
SORA: It's better to say what I'm doing is wrong, and I want it anyway so I'm going to do it and pay the price for it?
SORA: If that's the choice that you make?
THERRY: Yes. At least you keep Maat intact.
SORA: `Cause on other levels that will at least be more of a security?
SORA: I've been trying to do that more. It doesn't feel as good `cause I guess that's where cognitive dissonance comes in. `Cause then you have to fight yourself about knowing what you're doing is wrong.
THERRY: Uh-huh. And when you start paying the price for doing what you've done, you'll wish you hadn't. Then you find yourself wishing you didn't have the wisdom, and that's even worse.
SORA: Well, I've gotten over that. I did that for a couple of days. At least I think I've gotten over that. I've decided that it's a lot better to have the wisdom, even though it does definitely make it harder, and you definitely have to take more responsibility, but I guess, I guess power's touched me, so to speak; I can't go back.
THERRY: You were warned.
SORA: You're right. It's funny because I can feel stuff in me; I feel like I'm going away from the regular world, is what I feel like. I know to you that must sound stupid because to you I mean, sitting there watching me playing all my regular earthly games, and still wanting to continue that, you might not see that at all in me, but even though I still want to play certain games, there's still--I still feel like I'm walking away from the road of Earth and all its carnival kind of thing into something else. I mean, I don't really know how to describe it at this point any better than that, but--and the more I meditate, and the more certain things happen, I guess the stronger I get that feeling. I'm more in touch with the power I guess, more frequently.
Can I talk at all about the ritual that we did on Christmas?
SORA: Um, gosh, I don't even know where to begin. I know that--well, can you tell me what it meant on other levels? I mean, I read the paper, and what the paper said.
THERRY: What did it say?
SORA: It said that the wine was a symbol of the blood Mendella.
THERRY: Which means what?
SORA: Which is the thing that keeps you on Earth.
THERRY: Right, therefore it was --what is the Blood Mendella?
SORA: The thing that keeps you on Earth; the thing that keeps you in a physical body.
THERRY: That the only thing it is?
SORA: Um, I don't know much more about it.
THERRY: What about the laws? Are you familiar with some of the laws?
SORA: In relation to the Blood Mendella? No, I don't think so.
THERRY: How about the law that says, `All energy must return to its source.'
SORA: Okay, I'm familiar with that.
THERRY: How `bout the law that says, `whatever power you evoke to place you someplace is that same power that maintains you there.'
SORA: That would be the Blood Mendella? That's what people have evoked to trap themselves in Maya?
SORA: And that's the force that keeps them in Maya.
THERRY: But it's also the force that guards them.
SORA: Against what?
SORA: Other people or --
THERRY: Others all.
SORA: So what did it mean to use that in the ceremony? To drink that?
THERRY: You avow the Alliance of the Rule.
SORA: What does that mean?
THERRY: Well, Brothers of the Chain and Arkasheans, when they descended into Earth, they made a vow that they would maintain greater wisdom and not serve themselves. Instead they would serve the whole, and they made a vow that the number one course of intention was to study law, find out how things work, and use that wisdom to help others. And they made a vow that they would not try to seek power. Consequently, whenever you have a group together, you always have to have a leader. In this particular case, the leader is Pharaoh. So the first section reaffirms or recommits a vow to work under the direction of Pharaoh to help the world.
SORA: And why do you have to have a leader in order to fulfill the things that you said?
THERRY: Let's see if you can answer that. You've been in with people.
SORA: Oh, because if you just have the group together without a leader they'd each want to go their own way? Or they'd each want to--
THERRY: You figure it out.
SORA: Well, that would be the answer that I would get, that each person would want to do things their own way.
THERRY: What happened to NOW?
SORA: You had a struggle for the leadership, and every time the leader changed--
THERRY: I thought you said that as a group gets together, everybody would go their own way.
SORA: If they don't have a leader.
THERRY: What did you mean by go their own way?
SORA: Each person would want to do-fulfill the goals they sought to fulfill in their own way.
THERRY: What happened to NOW? Did that happen to NOW or did they all fight to become leader?
SORA: No, they all fought to become leader. But without a leader--
THERRY: So wasn't that inconsistent with your first statement? Your first statement said that everybody would go their own way.
SORA: If their was no leader, everybody would go their own way.
THERRY: You just told me that everybody fights to be leader. That meant there is no leader.
SORA: Well, eventually one emerged, and then she did things her way, and the group had to follow her way or leave.
SORA: It seems to me that that's what a leader is. I mean, if you have no leader--
THERRY: But if everybody was fighting to be leader, that meant that there was no acknowledged leader.
SORA: At one point that's true, around election time.
THERRY: Oh I see, okay.
SORA: The rest of the time there is a leader, but when elections come up again, yeah, every one who's interested fights to be leader. And if there is no leader at all, then everyone wants to attain the group goals in their own way using their own methods.
THERRY: Okay, even if there's a leader, what happens when the members are not behind their leader?
SORA: Um, the members either choose another leader, or they'd drop from the group, or they would still believe in the goals and try to attain them their way again.
THERRY: So, having a leader is extremely important, right?
SORA: I guess it gives the group direction.
THERRY: That's not my question.
SORA: Yes, it is important.
THERRY: Okay, then, picking the leader is even more important, right?
THERRY: You have to be careful who the leader is, right? Isn't that equally true in any teacher?
THERRY: Isn't it also equally true that any teacher is also your leader, more or less?
THERRY: Okay. So the first part of that ceremony does just that.
SORA: Acknowledges the leader?
SORA: And those three laws that you said under that leader. Okay, and the second part of the ceremony has to do with the bread.
THERRY: Yeah, that has to do with the Maya itself. See, the first part of that thing was political, and the second part was spiritual. It acknowledges the existence of the law and the weave of Maya.
SORA: The second part?
SORA: How so? What did the bread --
THERRY: What'd it say?
SORA: Well, the bread, I don't remember what the bread represented as much. Oh, I guess the bread just represented Maya itself, right?
SORA: `Cause that was the bread of Earth. And what it said was--
THERRY: Didn't it make an equation? As something is, so thus is.
SORA: Well, I didn't understand all of it. I understood the part we had to say, the part we said was when you put the bread and the blood together, we vowed--
THERRY: Um-um, not the bread and the blood, the bread and the wine.
SORA: The bread and the wine, which symbolized the blood Mendella and Maya, right?
SORA: And the second part we vowed to free man's Ka from Maya.
THERRY: Oh, wasn't it for both? Both of them said that?
SORA: Well, the first one said we'd free men from Earth.
THERRY: Didn't the first one say we'd unite our resolve under Pharaoh to work for the Universe unto time when man is freed from the trap of Maya?
SORA: Well, the wording was a little different.
THERRY: Right, but was that not what it said?
THERRY: And did not the second one say that--again, not using the exact words, `cause I don't use them except on one day per year --did it not say that we would unite using the laws, and dedicate ourselves unto forever until man's Ka is freed from the trap of Earth on all levels?
THERRY: So basically the first and the second did exactly the same thing. Reunite the resolve to work for the benefit of the all; not for ourselves. The first one said we'll do it under the leadership of Maya, and the second one says that we'll all do it in Maya, understanding what the laws of Maya are, and their traps.
SORA: And what does it mean to dip the bread into the wine? Just the binding of the Blood Mendella into Maya?
THERRY: The same way as it was the binding of man into matter.
SORA: So the descent, basically.
THERRY: The descent, that is correct.
SORA: Was that ceremony also a binding ceremony on the physical of Arkasheans to each other?
SORA: It seemed like it was to me.
THERRY: Um-hum. `Cause it very plainly said that we would unite our resolve under Pharaoh. That means Arkashea becomes one. Not just a group of people with good intentions.
SORA: So that means wherever you live, or whatever your lifestyle, that you're still bound--it's like a binding ceremony. Like you once told me --I don't know if it's the Dark side preset, but there were certain binding ceremonies where you were bound to people on other levels as well as this one Karmically by what you do, right?
SORA: And this one was one of those for us, right? For the people that participated in it.
SORA: Because I've felt very different since I've done that, and I've really thought about, I mean, I was honored that I was allowed to participate, and I read it first because I got there way before twelve, and I really thought about whether I should participate in it or not, because I did um--well, I guess it was funny because even though you said I should read that book and maybe I should of the day I was there, but everything you said that day helped me to make a decision on that day of the ceremony plus some of the stuff you had said before about binding and other things because to me I seemed to be aware that that was what was going on even if no one else thought that it was. And, um, I guess on other levels it has other kinds of meanings that you won't discuss, or you would?
THERRY: Won't. If you want to discuss them, you'll have to go on that level.
SORA: So, for here, the representation was the descent and us binding ourselves into matter to help mankind for the whole.
SORA: And the responsibility thereof that goes with that.
THERRY: Right. Such as you can't serve yourself for the sake of self; you may only serve yourself for the sake of others. Now there's a good complication for you.
SORA: Yeah, I don't think I understand that. I don't understand how you do that.
THERRY: It'll come at some future date.
SORA: I mean, I can understand an example of not trapping other people into something I know is a trap.
SORA: Because that would just be serving myself and bringing somebody else down.
THERRY: Uh-huh. So if you don't do that, don't you serve yourself just the same? Don't you serve your inner Maat?
SORA: Yeah, I guess you do; you don't trap yourself more in other things.
THERRY: So you serve yourself by keeping yourself more free. The same as if you help someone, don't in someway you get help too? You're all in the same boat.
SORA: And if energy that is put out is returned, then I guess you do because serving someone else is serving yourself. Which brings me to the other reason for the private part of this session, which is my parents.
THERRY: You have to understand that during Earth holidays, the pain for them will be greatest.
SORA: Why? How does that work? I've noticed that in various situations this year with my friends, you know, different friends, as well as my parents, but I don't understand why.
THERRY: Because during that time of year they become more aware of their wrongs, and their true state of being. And, therefore the pain is greater, and therefore they react according to their nature.
SORA: Well how come some people are happy during the holidays?
THERRY: Because that is their nature. They're in less pain; they are happy, more or less, with their situation. So then, for an important time, they have enough love in them so that they can use that love during the holidays.
Some people, love is a rare commodity. They use it as a bargaining chip, and therefore, come holidays, they don't know how to use it for enjoyment, for pleasure, for goodness `cause to them it's still a bargaining chip, and if they can't get what they want, they show the face of anger.
SORA: Is that my parents? Are they using love as a bargaining chip?
THERRY: Your mother is, yes.
SORA: I have a whole lot of anger and resentment in me, and I don't know how to get rid of it, I mean, I know --
THERRY: Well, the first thing you have to do before you can do anything at all is to understand that there are no angels on this planet, so nobody's perfect, nobody. The second thing you have to do is you have to recognize that a person who is in pain is going to lash out the same way as a person who is drowning is going to panic and lash out. So during that time of when they're lashing out, you must not hold anything that they say against them because it is their pain that is talking. If you truly accept that within yourself, then you can see that it is not they who are talking, but it is the Dark side that is talking.
SORA: How is it the Dark side?
THERRY: It is the Dark side that is within them that is talking. And you can't expect nice things from the Dark side all that often.
SORA: Well, I remember you once said a big part of my learning to deal with them was realizing that they didn't do things out of maliciousness; they did `em because they thought that was the best thing to do.
THERRY: Or they did it because they were in pain.
SORA: But still, with their illusion, it was the best thing to do. I mean, I could see a lot of good intentions in a lot of things they did.
THERRY: Therefore why hold it against them?
SORA: Because this time it seemed different. She said things to me that were totally malicious, and had nothing to do with her trying to do--
THERRY: Don't you see it is pain that is talking? For instance, if you see somebody that is so much better than you and you never stand a chance of being able to be that way, aren't you going to resent that person? The mere fact that you see such people and they associate with you, couldn't the Dark side in you simply see that as an affront?
SORA: No, I would always try to be like them, that's why I study with you.
THERRY: But that's you. That's `cause you're not into the Dark side. You remember The Thorn Birds? You notice that was the same thing?
SORA: How so? I'm not getting --
THERRY: She gave all of her money to the priest or to the church not because she wanted the church to benefit, but because she hated the priest and the money would force him to give up the love he had for this lady. Remember?
SORA: Yeah, vaguely. So that he went into being a priest instead of not being a priest.
THERRY: Right. But she did it out of unrequited love.
SORA: Well, I remember the thing about coding love differently.
THERRY: So, isn't it the same thing here? Isn't that what's happening with your parents?
SORA: Well, I had a hard time seeing that. I mean, in the past I could see that it was. That I had an expectation of how they would act--
THERRY: Okay, let's see if we can have you understand it in another way. You ever watch children play?
SORA: Only sometimes. I haven't in a long time.
THERRY: Okay, but remember in the past. What happens when spats break out?
SORA: Well, they usually do stuff to each other. Throw sand in each other's face or push each other.
THERRY: In other words, they do things purposely vindictive in order to ease their pain, right?
SORA: Yeah, in order to get what they want.
THERRY: Isn't that the same thing as your mother did?
SORA: Alright, well, let me ask you something.
THERRY: Yes or no, is that what your mother did?
SORA: I don't know. I was going to give you an example and you could tell me--
THERRY: Does it appear to be?
SORA: No, some of the things don't; that's what seems different this time. I'll give you an example.
SORA: She told me that --I could see where some of her behavior, yes that was, I mean, I mean she got on my case about everything from my eating habits to different things. I could tell that some of that was, but she said --
THERRY: Mel, you're being inconsistent now. You're trying to tell me that you're so great that you can look into a person's heart and you can see the line that separates between a person walking out of pain as opposed to walking out of darkness. If your telling me that in one conversation and in one spurt of emotion she was telling you a lot of things that you could see and absolutely recognize that they were pain talking. But other things that she said and done in that same set of circumstances were not. It's nice to know that you have grown so much that you can know the difference.
SORA: Well some things seemed a lot more malicious.
THERRY: Of course. Let me ask you a question. It might help you understand the differences in maliciousness. If you're saying something and doing something, and it's not getting a rise out of the other person, what are you going to do?
SORA: Go to something that you think is going to get a rise out of them.
THERRY: Do you think just maybe this is what happened?
SORA: Yeah, all the things that she used to do to me, they didn't get a rise out of me at all. Till she hit one particular spot and I was at her in about two seconds emotionally.
THERRY: So she hooked you.
SORA: Yeah, she did a damn good job.
THERRY: So think of PAC.
SORA: She was acting out of her child the whole time and just got my child?
THERRY: Wasn't that exactly what happened?
SORA: I guess I answered her from the adult most of the time and she didn't like that at all.
THERRY: Right, until she hooked you and then you went to her level.
SORA: Yeah. So wasn't that a malicious intention? Wasn't she intending to hurt me by going to the things that she knew would get a rise out of me?
THERRY: Okay, let me ask you another set of questions. Those little kids that are playing. Are they being intentional?
SORA: No, they're just trying to get what they want.
THERRY: Isn't that what she's doing?
SORA: I don't know, is it? That's what baffled me the whole rest of the trip.
THERRY: Okay, let me ask you a question. What does she want? Now be truthful.
SORA: I think she wants for me to love her. I don't know.
THERRY: Rethink that last thing over again. Is it that she wants you to love her or that she wants you to a greater degree display that you do love her?
SORA: Well, that was her biggest complaint. I guess display to a greater degree that I do love her.
THERRY: Now, since we've established what it is that she wants, now the question: do you think that all this was just her trying to get what she wants?
SORA: How could you get that goal by picking at someone and being nasty to them for the whole time such that you push them away, and then you tell them that you want them to be more affectionate to you; you want them to spend more time with you?
THERRY: Okay, alright. Now ask that same question to those kids that are fighting.
SORA: Well, that's easy, because a lot of times when kids do it, they have--if they push sand in another kid's face--
THERRY: Is it not exactly the same set of rules going on?
SORA: I don't see it, no; I guess I don't see that it is.
THERRY: Then perhaps that's why you can't deal with it as easily because you refuse to see that it is the exact same set of rules.
SORA: Well, how is it? When a little kid wants a shovel he takes a shovel--
THERRY: Does it matter? If a child does something because they want what they want, and an adult does something because they want what they want, and both of them are fighting, both of them will even physically fight as well as mentally and emotionally fight, and in both cases, if it doesn't get a rise, it's going to go to something else, accelerate in order to get a rise, then how can you stand there and truly say that they're not the same?
SORA: I guess I see the difference in my mind--
THERRY: Maybe the only difference is the fact that your emotions is hooked and you're the one that's involved.
SORA: No, I think the difference is when I see kids doing it it just seems more goal directed. If they want B, the things they do go towards B, and getting B. When my mother wants more affection to me, every behavior she did seemed to push me away.
THERRY: Okay, let me see if I can have it understood in another way. A husband and wife are in quarrel.
THERRY: The wife, being scatterbrained, as women usually are, never says what's really on her mind. She fights about everything except what's really on her mind. In her heart, she's pissed off because the husband is seeing another woman, or the husband is not paying enough attention to her, different things like that. Basically, it's because she can't get enough of the person she loves. So how does she normally behave?
SORA: Well, she's angry.
THERRY: So, how does--no, I asked you how she behaved.
SORA: How she--I don't understand.
THERRY: Give me behavior, don't give me emotion.
SORA: How she behaves because --I guess I don't understand the question. You mean, within the situation of them fighting, how does she behave?
THERRY: Yeah. Because she wants love, does she go up to him, and shower him with compliments, and shower him with sexuality, and shower him with all of these things that are in fact going to draw him towards her?
SORA: Well see to me that makes more sense.
THERRY: Stay in reality. What happens in reality?
SORA: Alright, well if she's angry and resentful because she can't get what she wants, then she's going to be nasty, but it's going to drive him away, not bring him closer.
THERRY: Does that change the fact that that's the beauty of reality with women?
SORA: You're saying she wants to be loved more by the person she loves.
SORA: But she's angry and resentful because she doesn't get that.
SORA: So the anger and resentment is going to override a strategy to get more of what she wants?
THERRY: Now, you've asked the question. Now you answer the question according to what you know is actual fact in reality.
SORA: Doesn't make any sense, well, it's starting to make sense to me, but it's hard to--
THERRY: Where is the logic with anybody fighting for love?
SORA: She's not going to have any.
THERRY: Of course not.
SORA: She's feeling anger and resentment then that's going to override anything to get her what she wants so she's going to be angry and resentful and nasty.
SORA: Which is just going to push the other person away so she's going to get less of what she wants so she's going to get more angry and resentful.
THERRY: Exactly, and they end up in a divorce court because they end up saying and doing things that they can never forgive one another for.
SORA: And that's exactly what happened to me in Florida with my mother this time.
THERRY: That's the whole point. Can you see that it's exactly the same thing as those little kids, except that with adults they always go too far. They say and do things that they cannot take back.
SORA: That I can't see as far as it being the same with kids because it seems to me that kids are more goal directed to what they want. If they want--
THERRY: Well, so is those ladies that are fighting.
SORA: If a little kid wants more love from someone, they don't kick it, they go up to it and try and get its attention.
THERRY: That's not true.
SORA: Well, maybe I just haven't been around kids very much in the last ten years, which I haven't been.
THERRY: The kids will first go around and they will behave and come right out and try to seek the love from you. Once that love is thought to be rejected, then the kids will behave the same thing as everybody else. A kid will become very vindictive. As a matter of fact, they become problem children.
SORA: Well, I know that if you don't give them attention, then they'll act out to get it, because negative attention is better then no attention at all.
THERRY: Isn't that what's going on with your Mom? This is part of what I'm saying, that if you don't have truth, if you don't have Maat built inside of you, then you never really take the time to look at the laws, you just look at the emotion and what you think ought to be, and you end up deceiving yourself. But if you have Maat within you, then you'll temporarily set the emotions aside, and you'll look at the pattern of law, and that will help you out every single time.
SORA: Well I really tried to do that, but I guess I was missing some of this information because I certainly didn't--to me --
THERRY: Well, I don't believe that you were missing the information because I didn't give you the information. I simply asked you a series of questions and you gave me the information.
SORA: But I saw the pattern a lot clearer from your example then from what she was doing because I guess --
THERRY: But you already had that stuff within you. You knew about the pattern of children, you knew about the pattern of adults, you know about unrequited love, you know about all of these. You've dealt with them. You've dealt with them, plus, what's more, you've even had experience, personal experience with a number of people in exactly exactly the same vein. What about you and Leesa?
SORA: Well, what about us? When she--I mean --
THERRY: It's the same pattern.
SORA: How? You mean when we fought all the time?
SORA: We fought all the time about Jim; it didn't seem like there was any unrequited love. She just didn't want me to see anybody else at all.
THERRY: Do not look at specifics; look at patterns. I keep telling you this over and over and over again. Whenever you have to make a decision about something, look at patterns, not specifics. `Cause if you look at specifics, everything is going to be different, or nothing is going to be the same.
SORA: She wanted more of my attention?
THERRY: Isn't that what your mother wants?
SORA: Well I can see it with my mother now that we had this conversation. It didn't seem to me like --
THERRY: The only reason why you couldn't see it before is because you insist upon refusing to look at patterns. You allow yourself to get stuck in specifics because that's where the emotions are attached to.
SORA: Well then how do you handle your own emotions?
THERRY: Ah, you cry a lot, you hurt, but hopefully, if you have Maat within you, it'll pass much quicker. You are human, you're no angel, there aren't any on this planet, so that means you are going to hurt, you are going to cry, but if you have Maat, it'll be a shorter duration. Logic will click in somewhere along the line and say hey, you can't really blame her because it is pain that is talking. It is the Dark side that is crying. And if you truly seize that, then the negative bond between you will be shattered, because it makes about as much sense to be angry with her because she is what she is, as it does for you to be angry at her if she's got a cold.
SORA: Okay, I can see that, and I can maybe start to release the anger, but I'm not willing to interact with her if she's going to do this all the time.
THERRY: Now that's a different story; that's not part of our discussion. That's a different discussion all together. You ready to go into that one?
SORA: Um, let me make sure I understand this. Well, I can see what she did. I'm not sure I can see that it was the same as Leesa. You're saying that with me and Leesa, Leesa wanted more of my attention in the form of monogamy, and I didn't give it to her so she got angry and resentful? Is that the same pattern?
THERRY: You tell me.
SORA: Well that's the only one I can think of because that's what causes most strife was over my wanting to be, still see Wayne.
THERRY: So isn't it the same both ways? When somebody wants somebody else, they want to possess her more or less? On various levels on various ways? They want to box them in.
SORA: And when they can't get what they want, they get angry and resentful. Instead of acting in a strategy to get them closer to them, they push them further away.
THERRY: Why not look at that in terms of law. Unrequited love will always bring a problem child.
SORA: What's the problem child?
THERRY: The individual who can't get what they want. Look at most teenagers who have gone awry. Isn't it because of unrequited love?
SORA: I don't know. I can only reference it to myself. And I've had unrequited love and I tried to get the person I want, and when I couldn't, I had a lot of pain, but I didn't get real nasty to `em; I tried to get nicer to `em, and I still couldn't get `em --
THERRY: Oh, I see, and because you couldn't get what you wanted, you didn't go off into drugs, right? You stayed right there and you were the dutiful little daughter who went to school and --
SORA: You're saying that was unrequited love?
THERRY: Wasn't it?
SORA: Yeah, I guess maybe it was.
THERRY: Oh, but it was different with you, though, right?
SORA: No, I didn't think of that as unrequited love. I was thinking in a romantic sense.
THERRY: But wasn't it?
SORA: Yeah, I guess, yeah. I never thought of that as unrequited love, but I guess it was. And I guess that's still part of it. I still wanted them to, to be proud of me, and I wanted their approval, and obviously they didn't give it to me. Only this time it seems like I've made a decision that if they're not going to give it to me, and they're not going to try, then I'm tired of trying too, and fuck you buddy. And I know that that might not be the best thing to do but that's how I feel right now.
THERRY: Okay, I can accept that that's how you feel. As I said, that part of it is for another conversation.
SORA: Okay, well I guess, I guess I'm ready for it because that's-
THERRY: Okay, now, question: You being the perfect soul that you are, decide that you're going to come down to Earth, and we're going to help this poor unfortunate wretch. Do you expect to come in clean and stay clean?
THERRY: So you're going to get a little dirty along the way, right?
SORA: Probably a lot dirty along the way.
THERRY: Okay, do you expect to come down pure of emotion and stay pure?
SORA: Obviously not, no.
THERRY: So obviously somewhere along the line you're going to hurt and you're going to cry lot. Is that going to be sufficient to stop you from trying to help people?... Got you.
SORA: I think there's a limit to what you have to put up with, what you have to subject yourself to.
THERRY: In other words, you're telling me that, "Okay, I'm going to come down to Earth, and I'm going to help that little bastard. But I'll only go so far; I'll only give him so much of a chance. If he doesn't do what I want within that limit.