Arkashean Q&A Session -- 108
CARLOS: Now if this is a ...a game that humans play and on the cockroach level or whatever, uhm, suicide is also something that the next level up does and gets dropped down to humankind?
THERRY: Well there are many routes into oblivion.
CARLOS: But is that one of them?
THERRY: No, I would say that the Maya...
CARLOS: Or it's distinctly a human...
THERRY: ...the journey into Maya would be their form of oblivionite. Like "What, If, But..."
CARLA: When you were saying before that depending on how strong your emotional ties are, decides whether or not you come back and incarnate again, doesn't Karma have something to do with that too if you haven't paid that...?
THERRY: That's what you're talking about---Karma.
THERRY: Karma is the name of the book and you know, it's the catchall name for everything that has to do with the Tallyman, cause and effect. When you come into the Earth Experience, you agree to have a certain set of experiences and if you decide to change the rules and go for more than what you're supposed to have or refuse to let a moment go when you should have or whatever, then you accrue negative Karma because you've done harm to something else or someone else.
CARLA: So that'll be the emotional thing that will bring you back again?
THERRY: Right. It's like a rubber band. Every deed that you commit, that you should not have committed, you're tied to that deed or it is tied to you and Death is not strong enough to break that bond. That rubber band will pull you right back to that deed until that deed is equalized and that rubber band is cut. Nothing is for free, nothing. Santa Claus was just an illusion.
CARLA: Last time we were down here you were saying that I was uhm...we were talking about my family and you were saying that I was transferring anger from my real mother to my step-mother.
CARLA: And that I had to let that go at some point.
THERRY: Resentment I believe is what we were talking about.
CARLA: But I'm not even aware of it. I mean I feel like my real mother. I barely even know her. I don't...I'm not aware of having any kind of feelings at all really. I mean, she was like a stranger. If anything, I feel negatively towards my father 'cause I'm in touch with him, but I'm not aware of any negative feelings I'm feeling towards my mother, I mean so...
THERRY: Then why aren't you friendly with her?
CARLA: She's not...she's dead. She died about...I don't know how long...
THERRY: That doesn't change the fact that you can have friendly, warm feelings towards her. You don't have to be pissed off because she took off and forced your Dad and whatever to give you this new set.
CARLA: But I feel like I hardly knew her. I'm not even...
THERRY: What's that got to do with it?
CARLA: Well I'm just...I'm not aware of feeling negatively towards her. I mean I just...She's like a stranger. I'm not...you know what I mean? How can I work on letting it go if I don't even know that it's there? That's kind of the question.
THERRY: Do you ever, ever think of her at all? It's not necessary to answer to me. You answer it to yourself.
THERRY: And when you think of her, isn't it usually because you're somehow in a battle between your Dad? If you're not in a battle of some form with your Dad or with your sisters, isn't those the times that you hardly ever think of her? You don't think of her at all. The only time you think of her, usually you're in some kind of negative relationship with the rest of your family.
CARLA: Oh, see I didn't even make that connection. I can't say that I'm even aware of that. I'd have to notice it in the future.
THERRY: Do that.
CARLA: The only thing I'm aware of thinking consciously what I think about her is that she was a chronic alcoholic and now that I'm in AA and I've stopped, I'm more aware of the type of person that she must've been. I think about her in that sense but that's all I'm aware of.
THERRY: That's the beginning of understanding.
THERRY: 'Cause quite often you think of her when you're dealing with your sister.
CARLA: My dead sister? I'll have to notice now when the thoughts come in just what is going on.
THERRY: At least it's the beginnings of understanding.
MARIA: Does that mean that I'm harboring the same thing because I'm adopted?
THERRY: No with you, you're dealing with something else.
MARIA: Having a...
THERRY: There's no resentfulness from that point. With you it's insecurity and abandonment.
MARIA: But isn't the abandonment...doesn't it come from having been abandoned? Or...
THERRY: Or having abandoned.
MARIA: Oh we're back to that again. In another life. Oh!
THERRY: That's why the feelings were so strong when Peter was...
MARIA: Ah yeah.
THERRY: ... in the process.
MARIA: That's the flip side of abandonment that we discussed.
CARLOS: Peter was...?
THERRY: In the oven.
JIMMY: Where'd you get that bun in the oven?
THERRY: You know, that was when the artist was at work.
CARLOS: But he was a wannabe.
JIMMY: I have uhm...I have uhm...had cut off ties with my family a number of years ago simply because on and off over the years I tried to work on the relationship with them and they absolutely refused and the last words I had with either one of my parents was exactly what my feelings were, how it affected me and I said to think about it and get back to me and they never did, so I sort of wiped my hands clean of the whole situation.
THERRY: But you haven't. All you've done was to...
JIMMY: Sever the ties that held me down.
THERRY: But you never laid them to rest. They're with you everyday.
JIMMY: Unfortunately, that's correct.
THERRY: Because you're fighting ghosts.
THERRY: The parents that you want to free yourself from don't exist.
THERRY: They're all in your own mind. All you remember are deeds, times which were unpleasant and that's what you're running away from. The only way you can leave them behind is to recognize that there's no real maliciousness there.
JIMMY: No, I don't blame them. I don't have any malice for them.
THERRY: I didn't use the word "blame," you did.
JIMMY: No, what I'm saying is that there's no malice. I understand where they come from, why they did what they did. I understand the whole thing completely, but I have no room for it in my life.
THERRY: That's not true because you love war and therefore you're not putting it down. You're still carrying it. When the day comes that you truly have no room for it in your life, they'll never enter your thoughts, you'll have put it down and it would've been past. The fact that you still carry it says that you still have room for it.
THERRY: You're not ready to put it down yet.
JIMMY: But I had to put aside an entire family also.
THERRY: Autonomy is a natural process. In all of nature, all the young ones leave the nest. It's a necessity of life. It is not the absence or the presence of leaving, it's the method. Even though an individual can leave physically, quite often they never leave emotionally. They carry it with them. And usually it's because they really haven't truly forgiven, even though they say that they hold no malice, they do. It's just on a deeper level.
JIMMY: So I won't be free of them until I can honestly go for a period of time without thinking of them whatsoever?
THERRY: You won't be free of them until you yourself decide to put it down and let it go.
THERRY: Only you can determine when that's going to be and how it's going to be. You are your own judge and you write the script for your own future. Nothing is for free. But then if I'm not mistaken, holding grudges run in your family. So it's not surprising.
JIMMY: No, no, that's wrong.
THERRY: No, I still get that. I still get that your family members have a long memory. They don't forget anything.
JIMMY: I kind of have to disagree with you.
THERRY: I still think...
JIMMY: Unfortunately, I'm the one who has the memory. Everything else to them, uhm, if you brought it up to them would be...
THERRY: I can accept you're saying that, but I still get the image that they have long memories.
JIMMY: Well, actually they have shortage of memory.
THERRY: Well, they may be quick to dismiss, but I don't think they're quick to forget.
JIMMY: Since I was...
THERRY: There's an awful easy way for you to find out, not that it matters.
JIMMY: Which is?
THERRY: Just ask a question, "Do you remember?" and then state something.
JIMMY: Well I did that in one period of reconciliation with them and no, nothing was remembered. That's why I have to disagree with you, there's no long-term memory.
THERRY: No, I still feel that that is so. I don't know where the feeling comes from. But I still get that feeling. And I can't say anything other than the feeling I get is there. It's validity, I don't know. All I know is the feeling is there.
JIMMY: I'm not looking for validation.
THERRY: Yeah, 'cause all I can say is what I feel.
JIMMY: Okay! Hey, I'm just trying to give you some sort of answer to it you know because it's not rooted there. Definitely not.
THERRY: In either case, one way or the other, you're the only one that's going to determine when you walk away from it.
JIMMY: To release it.
THERRY: Again, you're dealing with the difference between your inner world and your outer world. That's why we call them ghosts.
TARA: Is that when some of it gets misplaced on to me?
TARA: Is that when some of it gets misplaced on to me?
THERRY: Not necessarily. People have a tendency to seek to use others as sounding boards and sometimes the individual who acts as a sounding board has a tendency to either misunderstand or seek to take it personally. And that's when it gets stuff on. Sorta like...related to taking umbrage. Does that make sense to you?
TARA: It does on one level, but on the other level when a case is being made uhm against me...
THERRY: Well, it doesn't...
TARA: ...then it's hard not to personalize it.
THERRY: It doesn't necessarily have to be against you, it could be that you were just lucky and you were in the right place at the wrong time.
TARA: That's...yeah, that's what I mean.
THERRY: Yeah, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it was specifically devised or intentionally directed towards you specifically.
TARA: Oh I don't even think ...Yeah, I don't think it's conscious at all.
THERRY: Yeah, so that's ...that's why I say I think it's a case of a sounding board. You're just lucky to be in the right place.
TARA: Well, I try to reframe it and say this is a gift that...a gift of trust and a gift of safety and...
THERRY: Well that's fine. I have a different name for it. I call it a pain in the ass.
TARA: [Laugh] Sometimes I react to it that way.
TARA: Not...not as clearly, when I asked...we talked about the impulse...the impulsivity, is that a learned behavior or chemistry?
THERRY: No, it's wishful thinking.
CARLA: Impulsive behavior? Was that the question?
THERRY: The impulse to do various things.
CARLA: Oh okay.
THERRY: It's wishful thinking. When an individual wants something bad enough, it creates a type of imbalance and the process of seeking to attain homeostasis requires that you begin a commitment towards satisfying what it is that you want. And the first stages of that is adult thought and the second stage of that, " I wonder if," "What would it be like if...?" Then the third stage is an actual feeling that manifests on the emotional level and you get a feeling to want to do something. The fourth stage is a little more disastrous.
CARLA: The fourth stage is what?
THERRY: A little more disastrous.