Suicide Loop
(A revolving Door)

When an individual chooses to enter into the Earth Experience, before he is allowed to pass through the DoubleGate that leads to the lower realms of the physical Planes of existence, the pilgrim must pass through the mightiest of the DoubleGates--Isis/Anubis (This is when a pilgrim passes from the governing laws of PrimedialForce, which is governed by FabricTime, and descends into the governing laws of PrimordialForce, which is governed by LinearTime). To pass the DoubleGate called Isis/Anubis (when entering the lower levels the gate is known as Isis/Anubis. When leaving the lower levels, the gate is known as Anubis/Isis) he must go through the process of submitting himself unto The Alliance Of The Rule (the process of acquiring a specific set of limitations within LinearTime). For this case, the strongest steering current that modifies the traveler is the limiting factor... is the length of time the individual must remain under the Spell of Life during any given life's cycle.

For certain individuals, this limitation becomes important. For reasons which are specific to the individual's point along the continuum of growth they happen to be, some individuals seek to end their life sooner (there are many different reasons why this would occur. For now, the specific reason is unimportant). When this does occur, it is usually a six-step process.

  1. The individual has difficulty getting satisfied;
  2. The individual thinks: "Wouldn't it be nice if ..."
  3. The individual starts wondering: "I wonder what would happen if I ...."
  4. The individual starts thinking seriously about starting over under what they think would be better conditions;
  5. The individual starts thinking about the method they might use to cut short their given life's cycle;
  6. The individual actually begins using the chosen method.

During the first five steps, it is possible for the individual to have a change of mind (for our purpose, it does not matter if the individual changed his own mind, or if another applied pressure upon the individual and forced a change of mind). However, once the individual has reached step six, usually, a final decision has been made, and, again usually, it is too late. It is just a matter of time before the individual actually cuts short the life process.

While the individual might think he got away with something, nothing could be further from the truth. Instead of getting away from his troubles, the individual discovers that his real troubles are just beginning.

The first of his major troubles is that the individual discovers that he did not end, or cut short his experience upon his present lIfe's cycle... his suicide did two things... firstly, it shifted the frequency within which he experienced life; secondly, the suicide lengthened the time of the experience in an odd way.

In fact, all he succeeded in doing when he committed suicide was destroying his physical body; and, in so doing, he lost the ability to interact with all the elements of the physical plane upon which he was born (his Astral Plane Of Common Reality). He discovered that from the point of view of the residents of The Astral Plane Of Common Reality, he was dead. However, from his point of view, he was not dead... he still resided upon the lower physical realms upon which he was born, but, because of his suicide, he was now condemned to roam his Astral Plane Of Common Reality until it was his normal time to die. His existence continues as an individual whose life cycle has shifted out of phase with the rest of his home Plane of Existence.

But, that is not the worst of it. The individual discovers that he is very much physical... very much alive... however, the other residents of his physical plane will not acknowledge him, nor react with him. It is like having an entire world giving him the silent treatment; a silent treatment to such a high degree that he discovers that the residents of his physical plane cannot even touch him; nor can he touch the residents of his physical plane. For all practical purposes, he has become a ghost, a ghost being driven by the Harpy which demands that he make contact with others of his kind; a task which will not be possible because his suicide shifted his reality out of phase from the rest of the residents of his physical plane. It is then that he begins to discover that there is more to the gift of life than what his limited awareness allowed. It is then that he learned the meaning of blasphemy against the LifeForce.

Even when the individual completed the normal death process, even when it was his natural time to die, his In Between Time experience forced him into a Suicide Loop.

The Suicide Loop is a special condition which exists when an individual commits murder (remember, killing self is still murder). Because of the implication of the law which states that the species Man is one, and thereby, what is committed against the least of Man is, in the same-self moment, committed against one's self, each individual who commits murder condemns himself into the Suicide Loop each and every time he commits a murder.

Specifically, the Suicide Loop is the experience of being caught in a loop whereby the individual repeats the most frightening aspects of being killed. To some people, the most frightening part of being killed is looking down the barrel of the gun which kills them; for some people, the most frightening part of being killed is leaning over the edge, just before being pushed, before jumping or before falling; to others, the most frightening part of being killed is feeling the pain that is related to the impact which does the actual killing.

In either case, the individual who is caught in the Suicide Loop is condemned to experience that moment in time which is the most frightening. That moment is relived over and over again, forever; even if, for them, forever is one-hundred-thousand-years.

Not until the individual truly learns the nature of life... the sacredness of life... the meaning of blasphemy against life will he or she be released from the suicide loop. However, being released from this version of the suicide loop is just the beginning of the process of equalizing the karma which the individual incurred by the misdeed.

In fact, it can be said that The Universe is not very forgiving when an Entity claims they have learned. The Universe effectively seems to say, "That's not good enough, SHOW ME." As a result, the law which governs blasphemy takes over, and, the individual relives the moment forever in an in-between state of reality until he can grasp the graveness of the act. For some, it can be a short time; for others, it can seem like an eternity.

Even if the individual, in his suspended from life... in his in-between state did succeed at stopping the suicide event while still in his special lab, The Universe would still demand more proof of the claimed growth. In this case, the show moves to the Astral Plane of Common Reality where the individual is again placed in the circumstances that caused the original suicide.

Here, in real life, once again being born of women, the individual will have the opportunity to recommit the original blasphemy against the LifeForce. If the original blasphemy is not repeated, then The Universe will accept the final equalization of the initial event. Here, the individual will be presented with opportunities for suicide in many different ways. And, here, the individual will face his or her claim to having learned.

As said in the beginning, there are many reasons for an individual to commit suicide. The lessons that are being worked on by the individual, or the lessons that the individual failed to learn could be at the center of the Individual's need to commit suicide. However, regardless of the reason... regardless of the seeming validity of the reason, there is always only one final ending--murder Karma. This is because, as said before, suicide is the murdering of self.

It is interesting to note that while an individual may blaspheme against the LifeForce over and over again, depending upon the specific lesson being learned at the moment, that special condition wherein suicide comes as a result of the murder of others is experienced only once during an individual's Sojourn upon a given Plane of Existence.

It is also interesting to note however, that the process of committing suicide, the process of refusing to commit suicide, or the process of committing any other karmic misdeed, follows the same pattern as the process of the opportunity to equalize a karmic misdeed, as seen in fig. #1.