Awareness: The Ability To Know
(Is it a God given ability ... or, is it stolen?)

Awareness is that special quality that allows some life-forms to be cognizant of being possessed by both LifeForce and MindForce--this definition is, by necessity, somewhat circular; but, it is the best that the limits of the language will allow. Awareness is not a creation unto itself, in that it is not God-given by right of being born on Planet Earth. Awareness gets its beingness from the same pattern as that of Reality. As Reality comes from the interaction between That which is Real and That which is not Real, so, too, awareness comes as a result of the interaction of the Ba and the Ka via the Emotion's Interchange Interface--it is a special type of linking between the different parts of one's self. Awareness is the end result of the linking of one's higher level to one's lower level, as seen from the Ka's point of view, as it receives the Ba's communications. In other words, Awareness is a recursive offspring of the interaction between the LifeForce and the MindForce; this recursive interaction brought forth, among other things, man's reasoning ability.

There is an odd aspect to the awareness factor; odd, in a sense, because a life-form's awareness is greatly influenced not only by the level of The Grand Maya within which the life-form resides, that life-form's awareness factor, and, therefore, the life-form's level of observation, is also greatly influence by the Illusion which still has a hold upon it.

To a great degree, that aspect of a life-form's awareness which is influenced by the illusion which still has a hold upon it is, itself, governed by the Affinity Factor, as that Affinity Factor serves the needs of the situation and the specific needs of the individual's battle against Excessive Ego. This becomes extremely important to the TwinSpecies:Human; important if we are to understand what happens to an individual's awareness, as that individual is in the process of Astral Projection, Astration, or the Death Process, itself.

Example: let us say that a less spiritually developed individual lies at his deathbed. Furthermore, let us say that this less developed individual, because he is not spiritually developed, is not aware of the process of death, nor is he aware that he is, himself, dying. Still further, let us suppose that this individual still has very strong emotions towards certain parts of his life. In fact, his emotions are so strong that he is not yet ready to let go of the games he had been playing all his life. He is not yet ready to understand, to forgive, to love any of those around him. His illusion, indeed, condemn him to seek to possess the members of his family, to own the power which his money has brought him during his relatively short, sickly life.

It is the very strong emotions towards selfishness that create the ties which binds him to his illusion; and, therefore, which gives the illusions of his life the power to influence his awareness factor during the interaction between the illusion of the life from which he is in the process of exiting and the illusion of the life which he is in the process of entering--his most recent afterlife.

For this individual, there is a relatively long interlude which binds the two illusions of life together, forming a seeming overlap between them--called The In Between Time. The sadness and the horror is that the memories of the exiting life remains with him, governing the nature of what is real during the overlapping interlude of his most recent afterlife.

However, there is still an additional terror which must confuse the angry pilgrim during his overlapping interlude. During the overlapping interlude [during the time when he is not yet completely dead, but, neither is he completely alive], the sights and sounds of his most recent afterlife's experience are not exactly the same as they were during the illusion of the life from which he is leaving, or from which he just left. The places are different, the people are different, the cares of the people are different, the circle of friends are different, the individual's now magnified fears are also different, and, even more frightening, the laws which governs the new life could also be different; in that, the new life could have strange life-forms as a natural part of it. While the strange forms are really Other-World Teachers, they are still not easily accepted.

In either case, the individual is caught in what seems like a new life situation, but is totally governed by old thoughts, old ways, and old definitions which still have total control over his awareness factor. Still, the process of death must continue; in that, the old life must be stripped away if his new life is ever to have a reality of its own--this process is the only real Hell Of One's Own Thoughts.

It is because the old life must be stripped away that bemusement and magnified fear takes its toll. From the less spiritually developed individual's point of view, he encounters demons and devils who tear bits and pieces of his life from him, leaving a void in his memory--a frightening situation which is not too quickly filled with the affairs of his new life.

All he is left with is inconsistent time periods, inconsistent data, much of which is contradictory in nature. During his In Between time's experience, he experiences periods of black-out, periods wherein he perceives a loss of time without knowing what happened during that lost time. His emotions seemingly seek to force feelings of love toward an image which he has always hated, and vise versa.

Where once he had money and power, he now seems to be homeless, cold, and hungry. The rich friends of his old life now seem to be the driving force which keeps his emotions churning, which, in turn, keeps him in the streets.

It is not until much is experienced, and much is forgiven that a realization comes. With his new awareness, the individual comes to understand that the deeds of the seeming demons and devils against him were not, indeed, a punishment for the evil ways is his past life. Indeed, there were no demons, no devils. There were only angels helping the individual free himself from the strong emotions which tied him to the affairs of a past life. With time, and with more spiritual growth, there would come another level of understanding--The angels were but OtherWorld Teachers helping him to find the holy path, The Path To The Tree Of Life.

There is still another aspect to the continuum of awareness. However, it parallels the levels of change, itself. As change is a continuum unto itself, so, too, is the Awareness Factor. If we consider that there are eight levels to the process of change, so, too, each of the eight levels of change correspond to the first eight levels of awareness. Needless to say, we speak of the constant interaction between The Walk Of Freedom vs. The Walk of Predestiny.

As each point along any continuum is serial in its nature, so, too, are the points of awareness--in this case, eight points to the continuum. They are said to be serial because the individual must experience point #1 before he can experience point #2. The major points of the continuum of the awareness of change are:

1. Excessive Ego;

2. Emotions;

3. Desires;

4. Self Pity;

5. Different faces of Anger & Resentfulness;

6. Different faces of Rationalizing & Deception;

7. Different stages of Recognition & Acceptance of the necessity of the need for change;

8. The active process of change, itself.

Firstly, let's determine the difference between The Ego and The Excessive Ego. The Ego is that part of an individual which is seed for Man's self-awareness, his ID system, as it were. It [the ego] must be protected. It must be given what it needs to learn and to grow.

The Excessive Ego, on the other hand, is that spoiled brat that lives within us all. It belongs to the animal side of our nature. Life, or the process of growing up, is a seemingly eternal battle between what is truly Man within us and what is truly animal within us--some think of it as the real battle between good & evil that rages endlessly.

Inter-personal Relationships are usually not possible when the excessive ego is in control. As a matter of fact, usually, during the state of being caught by the power of the Excessive Ego, the individual is unable to realize that there must be at least two independent individuals present if there is to be a meaningful relationship. The power of the Excessive Ego prevents its prisoners from being concerned with anything which does not serve it, and it alone. How can there be two people present if one of the two [the excessive ego] can think of no one but himself?

Such prisoners of Excessive Ego are condemned to serve all the lower Gods. These Gods are called lower Gods because they serve only physical needs and desires, and, because they can never be satisfied. They will never serve the individual, the individual must always serve them.

Any satisfaction which does come from serving the lower Gods makes the individual that much more a prisoner of Excessive Ego. The satisfaction does not last. With the passage of a small amount of time, the prisoner finds himself seeking to repeat whatever deed which brought about the previous satisfaction. However, with each moment of repetition, the prisoner finds less and less real satisfaction.

In the place of any real satisfaction the prisoner finds an acquired need to repeat the deed which once brought the illusion of satisfaction. It is not until the moment of the illusion of satisfaction has passed that the prisoner, again, is left with the feeling of: Is that all there is? Then, a slight feeling of emptiness enters reality, forcing the need to again repeat the deed, still looking for whatever fleeting moment of the illusion of satisfaction which never really comes.

Needless to say, the backbone of Excessive Ego is the strength of the misconceptions, the illusion of self satisfaction, and, the favored prejudice. The strongest power of Excessive Ego is passed from parents to children in the form of prejudice.

Discovering himself in the midst of the full heat of his own emotions, the prisoner of Excessive Ego finds himself in a state wherein he can do nothing but rage, and, then, feel the hurt which seems to drive him still further into his irrational rage--often, he feels the need to get even. Because of the individual's lack of awareness of what is really happening, he is a willing prisoner of Excessive Ego.

Again, because of his present state of awareness, or the lack thereof, he is unaware that the prime force which drives him in his rage is the Continuum of Expectations & Demands. He neither cares for, nor does he recognize the needs of others. It is the concept of The Self brought to its most highest negative point--All that exist is a feeling of "I want what I want when I want it! Damned it, you'd better give it to me, or else!"

After having passed through the first two points of The Continuum Of The Awareness Of Change, the prisoner of Excessive Ego comes face to face with himself, with his needs, and with his desires. This is the first time that the individual comes to suspect that he is, indeed, trapped by his own emotions, by his desire of having others bow before his needs; often, he glosses the problem over by claiming that all he wants from others is the respect that is rightfully due him.

Quite satisfied with his want for proper respect, his life continues to go by without him; he's usually too shy to participate, or too late to participate. When he tries, he does too much too late. While he cannot truly put his finger on what is wrong, nonetheless, there is a sad glimmer of the realization that he is prisoner to his yet unchecked emotions--but, he is still unwilling to make any real changes, although he claims that he can change anytime he wants.

This first glimmer of understanding is what brings about the individual's first feeling of emptiness, of loneliness. In his newfound loneliness, the individual seeks to reestablish the old feeling of security by exercising machismo; which he does by going about it in his usual wrong way--he's too loud too often to be anything but unpleasant; then, he blames his problems on other's prejudices.

He then discovers that the more he seeks to reestablish the power of his old ways, the lonelier he becomes, because, he's not quite sure who he is really trying to control. Is he is trying to control that part of himself that is out of control? Or, is he trying to control that special person that is moving that much further from his control? Unknowingly, he is driving his desired individual away.

At this point, the prisoner of excessive ego, for the first time, comes to realize just how much he does not have the ability to control himself, much less the love of his life. One of two things results:

1. He starts a complete re-evaluation of the forces that drive him. However, the individual need not take the necessary steps to make the changes that will free him from his chosen game at this time. He might decide to delay implementing the needed changes at a future date; or,
   

2. He spins into a depression which is followed by self-rejection, followed by rationalizations, such that the games of Excessive Ego take a stronger hold--the individual often slides back to an older, less logical version of himself.

After having driven his, so-called [if the love was true, Excessive Ego would not be there], loved-one away, the prisoner of Excessive Ego really begins to feel his aloneness. His biggest defense is that he's not lonely, that he can do quite well without his future mate. But, in an unguarded moment, he begins to suspect that perhaps its not his lover's fault. Naturally, who else is there to blame--himself. His self pity begins to know no bounds.

The prisoner soon learns that there is, indeed, a positive correlation between the depth of his self-pity and the lack of self-confidence ; in that, as the depth of his self-pity increases the lack of self-confidence also increases.

Once the individual reaches a specific level of pain, Excessive Ego begins to fight back--Excessive Ego will not commit suicide by letting a little thing like truth get in the way of his power to control the individual. The prisoner of Excessive Ego again, looks towards his lover, or his lost love, to place blame. He then plays different games, such as, "You never really loved me. If you really did love me, you'd" or "It's all your fault. I only did what I did because of you, because" Needless to say, the end result is a spiraling ever downward into a greater depression and more self-pity--confrontation is the only hope.

With Excessive Ego fighting for its life, its two most powerful Generals begin to do battle [against each other and against the situation in general] with the individual's psyche--enter The Continuum Of Anger and Differing Levels Of Resentfulness. The individual becomes like a negative mirror. No matter what happens, it's always the other person's fault. "It's your fault because you forced it upon me!" The prime motivation is to shift responsibility. The prime hidden agenda becomes: "As long as it's not my fault, I am not responsible for whatever happens to me. I am a victim, a victim of circumstances. I am a victim of your cruel ways."

Now that the individual's fear has risen to a danger point, Excessive Ego, itself, comes to do battle. It becomes a case of: "Hey, I've got my mind already made up. Don't you come here trying to confuse me with truths and facts. I don't want to hear them!"

During this cycle, the individual will have thoughts not unlike: "Yes, but it's only because" or, like: "I only did that because you" Another good one is: "No Sir! That's not true! I did not mean that, I meant" Still, another powerful one is: "Aw, come on! Can't you take a little joke? I was only kidding! Hell, I'd never do anything like that!"

Once the individual comes to see that no matter what he does or says, he will just not be able to reestablish his former control over the other person, then, and only then, will Excessive Ego begin the process of dying--Of course, it is often too late; but, Excessive Ego will try, nonetheless.

Once Excessive Ego begins the long process of dying, Excessive Ego's prisoner begins to have the ability to think logically. He is now able to see, for himself, the error of his old ways. He begins to see that the more his emotions are vented upon the other individuals in his life, the lonelier he will become.

He will now begin to see the difference between his excessive ego, which must die, and his ego, which must be protected and allowed to develop into its destined self. More importantly, however, he will now begin to recognize the link between his hurt and his behavior. For the first time, he will have thoughts of needing to change.

Once the prisoner of Excessive Ego has his first thought of freedom, his Arkashea of change, if you will, he will then begin the process of seeking out specific, safe individuals to tell his tale of woe to. It is then that his first opportunity for change comes. If the individual is lucky, the first individual that is sought out will be qualified, such as a psychologist.

There is yet another point to consider. It is said that before anyone can perceive anything, a psychic-type light must be shone on that which is seeking to be seen. The specifics of the target is unimportant at this point. Regardless of the specifics of what is seeking to be seen, there are, at the very least, two types of lights that are available to the seer--a white light and a black light.

Needless to say, we are speaking of The Continuum Of Understanding; wherein, the white light is on one end of the continuum and the black light is on the other. Both lights will illuminate that which is really there, as will the entire continuum, but each point along the black light's side of the continuum will have vastly different effects.

The black light side of the continuum of understanding will illuminate what is being looked at with great distortion--the degree of distortion will depend upon the specific point being used. It is because of the nature of that distortion that viewing aspects of reality with a black light is often referred to as taking a psychedelic-view of the situation. Also, it would not be very far from wrong to call the black light a psychedelic-light, because their effects are the same.

The following are a few examples of an individual using a black light to understand the how and the why of the present problem's pain.

"Just be cause we're divorced, that doesn't mean that he has to start running around with other women in front of me. I don't need this ! I don't need to be dumped by him again!"

"I can't help it. I had to say what I said, because he made me so mad! I just couldn't stop myself!"

"No, that's not true! I only did it because"

"It wasn't my fault! He's the one that started it. He said..., besides, he's been looking for a punch in the nose for a long time. I just gave him what he wanted!"

"Really? I didn't know that! I thought that when I told her that I didn't have time for her that all I said was for her to come back later, when I wasn't so busy. I didn't really tell her to get lost, at least, that wasn't my intention."

"I realize that you told me that I couldn't spend any money, but this was different. This was on sale."

"Hey, just because I told you to get lost, that doesn't mean that you should dump me for someone else! You should have told me you felt this strong about it."

On the other hand, This is not to say that viewing aspects of one's life with a white light will always drive away the pain of an interaction. We must bear in mind that just because we have a brain, that's no guarantee that we're going to use it. And, if we do use it, that, in and of itself is no guarantee that we'll do what's right. Much depends upon the basic out-look of the individual involved. Using a black light will always lead the seeker away from understanding, towards the altar of self-satisfaction.