Arkashean Q&A Session -- 012

GERRIE: Where do I sit?

THERRY: You sit anywhere you want.

GERRIE: Oh, okay. I can sit up here?


GERRIE: See, I like sitting on beds. I want to trace back to my childhood.

THERRY: First, identify on the tape who you are, and what your purpose is.

GERRIE: My name is Gerrie, and my purpose is to gain insight into my patterns so that I am able to change.

THERRY: And, you also understand that we will retain a copy of this tape for our library, and that others will hear what you say today?

GERRIE: I didn't know, Tim told me not the private sessions.

THERRY: Yes, I do that. I keep a copy of everything.

GERRIE: Even if it's your personal tapes, cause I asked him--

THERRY: Even if it's real personal. It's just that--ah, the individual in the future who listens to it won't know you, so it won't matter.

GERRIE: Ah, you had told me earlier that I was still influenced by that religion, by my background in religion.


GERRIE: I wanted to know what patterns exist right now within me that I am not aware of that stem back from my childhood.

THERRY: Well, it's a case of you use your background as a filter to assign various concepts of right and wrong, good and bad to things. Based upon the assignment obviously will determine what you do, how you feel, etc.

GERRIE: Well, that's not--I know that's a true statement, but specifically, like in certain--

THERRY: If you're asking for very specific things, I never do that. That's something for you to say-- All I ever give you are patterns and law. I never go down and explain specifics unless you yourself bring up a very specific thing, and then we'll go through the process of looking at it and tearing it apart, and seeing different aspects, and see how law applies to that specific. But in terms of giving you future information, and telling you how to live your life, I never do that. I never tell you what is good and what is bad in terms of the things that you do. That's for you to determine. You are your own judge.

GERRIE: Now, my excessive ego--


GERRIE: Is that just from this lifetime, or several, or, I mean--

THERRY: It starts from the beginning.

GERRIE: Okay, so as far as the implements within this lifetime, it can either decrease or increase the ego, right?


GERRIE: Well, you had mentioned I had to work areas in the excessive ego.

THERRY: Yes. In short, you're too in love with yourself. You're too much in love with your own thoughts, your own ideas. Too many times you think you are right, that you can not be wrong, and as a result of that you make judgments which are a little bit harsh.

GERRIE: Uh-huh. Such as making assumptions based on what I believe is right--


GERRIE: --within that given situation.

THERRY: Yes, and forcing others to abide by those judgments. You don't stop to think that they may have their own set of judgments which differ from yours.

GERRIE: Cause I know it's like I sometimes feel this urge to preach.


GERRIE: And uh, basically, I had asked Bill, and he said if someone asks you a question, you ask, I mean you reply according to the specific question that they're asking you--

THERRY: Yes, and you never go beyond those boundaries. Just because somebody asks you a question, that doesn't give you the right to get on a soapbox and start preaching. There's a difference between responding to a question, and becoming an evangelical preacher.

GERRIE: See, what's the best way to stop that?

THERRY: The primary big difference in an evangelist is they have a need to preach; to tell others how they're doing wrong. Obviously they ought to clean their own houses first, because Jesus said, go out and teach. He never said go out and preach. There's a difference between teaching and preaching.

GERRIE: So, basically it's learning how to keep your mouth shut.

THERRY: Yes. You teach only when the student is willing to learn; you preach when they're not willing to learn. One is overriding the other's free-will.

GERRIE: Now, I'm not sure if you answer questions relating to family situations... like I wanted to know why I was born into the family that I was born into?

THERRY: You chose to.

GERRIE: For what specific purpose?

THERRY: For either to equalize some Karma, or to learn new lessons.

GERRIE: What about the detachment?

THERRY: What about it?

GERRIE: I feel like detached from my family members; I don't feel that close to--

THERRY: And that detachment brings about a certain type of interaction between you and they, doesn't it? Isn't there a whole group of lessons in just that alone? Handling that interactions with all of its feelings?

GERRIE: Well, you can chose not to interact?

THERRY: That, too, brings about a set of feelings.

GERRIE: So, there's no specific way of how to be or not to be with your family members..., cause I see the plays on TV where people are really lovey-dovey, and they care for each other..., and I don't have that expression toward my-- or else I'm not able to give that form of love to them. And even within the interaction like between my parents and mother I saw the pattern right there. So, those are just lessons?

THERRY: Those could be just lessons, could be a way of learning to understand, forgive, and love.

GERRIE: Okay, let's go to the pattern in which I constantly change my jobs?

THERRY: Oh, that could be a number of possibilities. One could be you have an excessive ego, and therefore you're unwilling to make trade-offs, and follow other people's orders; you only want to follow your own. Another possibility is that it no longer serves your purpose, so you seek another-- what you would call improving yourself, and hence, you'd seek another job. Another possibility is that you don't make enough money where you're at; you want to make more money. Another possibility could be that the job that you have is not challenging enough, so you're bored, so you seek another job. Still, another possibility is you hope to get a certain reward from a job, and it's not fulfilling what you want; you expect too much from the job, so you go about changing again. Still another possibility is you really don't know what you want, so you keep changing, hoping that sooner or later you'll bump into what it is that you want.

GERRIE: Isn't that the long way to go about it?

THERRY: Who cares?

GERRIE: But I have to see the trade-offs before--


GERRIE: Okay, `cause, see, that's um..., for example, I'm making eleven dollars an hour, and that will take care of all my bills that I need to pay off. But, I've gotten to the point in my job that the knowledge I'm going to learn from now until about a year from now is constantly the war game, so there's a lot of new knowledge that will have to go to the library concerning weapons, and I thought, well, do I want to go ahead and put the effort on learning?

THERRY: Well, that I can't help you with. What's more, I don't even want to know what that knowledge is.

GERRIE: See, it's because of what I know now, okay, I thought, well, do I want to go out and get more ingrained in this kind of game.

THERRY: I'm not involved in that. That, I can't help you at all. I don't want to know anything at all about what it is that you're doing in your work; that's your affair, not mine. Arkashea doesn't get involved in that.

GERRIE: Okay, so jobs are just tools to be used in order to accomplish--


GERRIE: Okay, so I thought it was karmic; I thought a lot of times your jobs could be karmic?

THERRY: Of course it can be, everything can be karmic. But that's something that you and you alone can handle.

GERRIE: So, basically the Universe doesn't care; that's what your job is.

THERRY: Correct.

GERRIE: Okay, `cause I thought, well, it's time for me to move and shift to a different kind of job...; it would happen so I just had to have patience, you know, I would take that attitude.

THERRY: It wouldn't happen from the point of view that the Universe would make the change. Obviously you have to be involved in it somehow. Such that if you change jobs, you have to initiate it somehow.

GERRIE: My reference points are not very solid.

THERRY: Give them time; as you learn, they will be. As you learn more about the laws, you will solidify your reference points.

GERRIE: `Cause I was reading that book, I thought, gosh, I must be weak in all these areas, you know, especially in the communication area. I thought why do we have to come back each lifetime and start all over again?

THERRY: Because so many things are different in each lifetime.

GERRIE: But the communication process as far as language, do we improve that? I mean, because doesn't the communication process come with language, not wisdom?

THERRY: One has nothing to do with the other. Just because you may in one lifetime be very good at communication, doesn't mean you will in the next. It depends on the game that is being played within each cycle. It's possible with one person you're very lucid, but with another person, because of the games, you become very confused and whatever. It's possible with a brother you're very strong, but with a lover you play the weak game.

GERRIE: What happens if it gets to the point where I was thinking the other day, see I don't even want to be here, playing these games. I mean you can't get out of it; you just have to stay here?

THERRY: Yes. You have to learn the laws that are here, and learn to adapt to them. For you to simply say, I don't want to play this game; I want to go away; Karma will only force you right back here again. So you might as well learn it correctly the first time.

GERRIE: Basically where do I go from here as far as with Arkashea?

THERRY: That depends up to you.

GERRIE: `Cause I wanted to tell you that I have come to the decision that this is what I want to do, but since I feel like I have not advanced, I thought, well, what do I have to offer Arkashea?

THERRY: What do you mean, since you have not advanced?

GERRIE: I don't feel like I have made enough progress to benefit Arkashea.

THERRY: That's not your purpose for being here. Your purpose for being here for now is not so you can benefit Arkashea; Your purpose for being here now is to learn what Arkashea is all about, so that you can benefit yourself. We're not asking anything from you; we don't want anything from you. We simply want you to learn the laws so that you can better understand yourself, and what it is that you want to be when you grow up. Once you're qualified in that you understand yourself better, then we will accept you as knowing what it is that you want, and then we will accept you as a student of Arkashea because you know what it is that you want. Right at the moment you really don't know what you want, so therefore we don't look at you as being qualified to make a valid decision. Once you learn the laws of Arkashea, once you learn the laws of creation so that you understand what's happening, then you will be in a better position to know what it is that you want. Then, at that time, if you want to become an Observer, we'll say yes. And then, and only then, will Arkashea begin to benefit. Until that time it is the species who benefits.

GERRIE: Why does it take some people, like they're twenty years old and they know exactly what they want, what some other individuals seem to kind of uh--

THERRY: Maybe it's their background; maybe it's their history. Maybe it's their Karma. In either case, it's unimportant.

GERRIE: So, what causes me at this point not to actually know what I want to do with my life?

THERRY: Your history.

GERRIE: History in reference to what?

THERRY: Family; the games that they play, and your value systems.

GERRIE: Well, usually in the family you're supposed to be what daddy, mommy wants you to be when you--


GERRIE: Now you don't question that. It's just a matter of fact you will go to college and that's what makes mom and dad proud of you and that's what makes them happy.

THERRY: Yep. And, add on top of that the fact that the culture that you come from is different from the culture that you're trying to get into. So, there are cultural differences, and cultural values that you're still fighting with.

GERRIE: Give me one example. Will one example be the fact that you do as your parents say and--


GERRIE: Not think for yourself?

THERRY: Plus the extended family as opposed to the individual family. You're from Panama; they have a lot of ways that are different from ours. For one thing they are extremely emotional. We, on the other hand, are no where near that level of emotionality.

GERRIE: I know my mother is very emotional.

THERRY: Yes. So, you haven't settled that war totally, either.

GERRIE: You mean the emotions?


GERRIE: I thought I had that almost under control?

THERRY: Almost ain't good enough.

GERRIE: Total?

THERRY: Yep. The reason why you assume so much is because of the emotions. There's more than one way of becoming emotional.

GERRIE: Even when you think you're unemotional, you're emotional.


GERRIE: `Cause you're playing the unemotional game.

THERRY: Right. Hence, you're dealing with the presence and the absence, and how each interact with the drama of the situation. That's the Now-effect.

GERRIE: Well, why couldn't I have met you earlier? I mean, like when I was eighteen, or fifteen, or right out of high school? Right before high school?

THERRY: Isn't it kind of useless to cry over spilled milk?

GERRIE: No, I thought, gosh, you know, I wouldn't have made all of these mistakes if I would have met you before then.

THERRY: Perhaps if you had, you wouldn't have appreciated it. Perhaps at that time your mind was on a different vein; perhaps you needed all of these experiences in order to be able appreciate what you have now.

GERRIE: Just depends what I'm learning?

THERRY: Whatever.

GERRIE: Well, have I been with Arkashea before, or is it just this lifetime?

THERRY: Does it matter?

GERRIE: No, nothing, something like that, nothing really matters, cause a lot of these answers that you're telling me I have read, and it's just a matter of possibilities that you're throwing at me, and I thought, well, I've got all these other possibilities now--

THERRY: There called patterns.

GERRIE: Okay, patterns.

THERRY: And therefore, it is not what somebody tells you that is important, it is what you tell yourself that is important. Because that is what's going to create your reality. You have to remember that nobody can do anything for you; they simply can offer you a different point of view. If there's going to be any changes, you're the one that's going to have to make them.

GERRIE: But you always keep saying, what do you want to be when you grow up, and I thought, please, I'm already grown up, you know--

THERRY: Well, you're seeing that you ain't. You may have been grown up chronologically, but you're not grown up emotionally. You still have many areas of uncertainty.

GERRIE: But I thought that the big thing in life when you grow up was being able to know exactly what kind of job you want to do.

THERRY: That's only along one thread. There's more than one thread to being an adult.

GERRIE: So, which thread is--

THERRY: Vocation is only one. There's emotions, there's intellectuals, there's spirituality. All of them put together, interacting with the society that you choose to live in, all go together to form what your reality will be, and all together will determine your state of relative contentment.

GERRIE: Is that, I thought, I had to start my foundation all over again.

THERRY: Yea; many people have to do that.

GERRIE: So, basically what your saying, what you want to be when you grow up, don't you mean specifically job related? So in my case it would be emotional?

THERRY: No, it would be the whole fabric; what we just spoke of.

GERRIE: So, basically, it's how you see your reality as a whole?


GERRIE: Your total being.

THERRY: Yes. Up to and including your self image.

GERRIE: I wish I could be good at one thing; really good at that. I thought that was one of the purposes for growing up, was actually being able to stick to something all the way through, but then I found out, like you were saying, my emotions, I'm spurned by my emotions, and then they die out, and the situation dies out; gets boring, or it fizzles out, or I'm ready to make a change.

THERRY: Because you're not grown up yet. Some people don't grow up until they're about sixty or seventy years old.

GERRIE: Well, I can't wait that long.

THERRY: Well, that's for you to determine.

GERRIE: See, I thought I would be dead by then.

THERRY: Seems to me you won't be dead until you die. Equally, it seems to me it doesn't matter when you grow up, so long as you do. If it means it's not destined to happen until you're eighty, that's okay too, so long as it happens. The Universe doesn't put you on a time table where you have to do something at a specific time; that's not the way it works. Each game will last but forever. You know the definition of the word forever, don't you?

GERRIE: Until, don't tell me--until however much time it takes.

THERRY: Right. However long it takes. It's four words--however long it takes.

GERRIE: However long it takes. I just can't see why things can't happen now( Therry chuckles) Why do we have to go through this slow process?

THERRY: Well, if you're in the whys, why not extend it and play a few more games such as why weren't we born rich instead of handsome? Why isn't the moon made out of green cheese, that way nobody has to starve.

GERRIE: So, basically, I will know when I grow up when I feel it? See I thought a lot of things were based on your emotions. You know how people say, well you, you know, if you decide to be a doctor, I mean you'll feel this great craving in your heart that that's truly what you want to be.

THERRY: Yep. It doesn't work that way. Why don't you investigate seeing how you would like being a lawyer.

GERRIE: That was what I was going to ask you, if the Universe was to chose an area that they feel I would be happier.

THERRY: I can't tell you that until you have grown up enough to become an Observer. Once you become an Observer then, by law, you have to accept whatever assignment we give you. And I can't tell you what those assignments would be until that day would come.

GERRIE: So, looking into the possibility of being a lawyer for what purpose?

THERRY: Why don't you just investigate it. Who knows, you might like it.

GERRIE: Another thing that I'm wondering about is my flying. There's no emotion to it. You know, I go out there and it's automatic, and, the emotions are not there, so sometimes the motivation might not be there. Am I placing my emphasis in the wrong--

THERRY: Not really. Perhaps you're simply recognizing that it is just a tool; you don't put attachments to tools; you use them.

GERRIE: That's why I'm--I'm very detached. I don't have this--

THERRY: That's fine; there's nothing wrong with that. One should never fall in love with their tools. Tools, you use them when you need them; when you don't need them, you just put them away. There's nothing wrong with that.

GERRIE: So, for right now, I'm going to ask you this question before I forget it... There's a, I call a hesitant, sometimes if I'm doing a task, I'll deviate. Why is that, my own energy that I'm using to put off what I should do, or is that my ego?

THERRY: Could be either.

GERRIE: Playing priority.

THERRY: Could be either. Could also be that somewhere inside of you your telling yourself, well, I'm only going to end up throwing it away anyway, so why should I bother? Could be any of them. Investigate becoming a lawyer. Your life might become easier.

GERRIE: Cause it's gotten to the point that at work I'm putting, I'm hesitating now, where before we did the work with three people, now I can barely catch up; I can feel like something, the energy just going urrrr. And I'm trying to see if I can get something different; I want to make sure the pattern doesn't repeat itself, that I will find that great job that's gonna make me happy. At least the knowledge that I'm learning will be also a growth process for me; that's the key. And that comes with interacting with people, `cause I like doing that, And, when you talk about being a lawyer, you interact with people, and paperwork.

THERRY: You interact with the justice system in order to help people. You can serve people who otherwise cannot serve themselves.

GERRIE: Did I still have any symptoms from the face of the cradle?

THERRY: Everybody does.


THERRY: It's a pattern that everybody deals with. It's the basis of the war that exists between an individual and their primary reference group.

GERRIE: `Cause I felt I had to overcome a lot of information that was pounded into me from my mother. Why was that? Was that--you're just going to say it's karmic or it's--you're just going to go into all that--

THERRY: Uh-huh. That's correct.

GERRIE: So, when people come and ask you specific questions--

THERRY: They don't always have specific answers. Depends on the level in which the game must be played. Obviously if you're a baby, you have to be acculturated, and you're going to be acculturated according to the values of your parents. Later on you may change that because you may have differences with it, but it doesn't change the fact that you're still going to have it, simply because they are your parents. Hence the face of the cradle comes in.

GERRIE: You won't talk about dreams, or will you?

THERRY: No, not now.

GERRIE: You won't talk about ET?

THERRY: No, not now. I want you to learn a little more first. It's difficult enough dealing with reality, let alone start dealing with symbolism.

GERRIE: But I thought that when it's occurring at another level, also affects this level too?

THERRY: It doesn't change what I've said. Right at the moment you're having enough trouble dealing with reality. Last thing you need is to complicate things by starting to decipher symbolism within reality.

GERRIE: Sometimes I will tend to want to change this reality to another awareness.

THERRY: That's my point exactly.

GERRIE: Why is that?

THERRY: You can't do that. It don't work that way. If you expect to gain power over all aspects of yourself, you have to accept the sanctity within each level of reality. Right at the moment you're trying to corrupt reality and making two different levels bleed into one another, and it's not supposed to be that way.

GERRIE: I always feel like I don't have enough knowledge; I always want to be able to gain more knowledge to have more understanding, but I feel like--going back to the knowledge before we were interrupted--


GERRIE: It's--is it karmic?

THERRY: It could be both. Isn't that the due process of growing, to learn more, so that you can better change the situation that you're in?

GERRIE: I think I wanted to be Einstein.

THERRY: Ah. Okay.

GERRIE: Now is that the ego?

THERRY: Yea. Perhaps it's really not knowledge that you want; perhaps it's the adoration of others that you want.

GERRIE: The what?

THERRY: The adoration of others. So that other people will look at you and say, ooh, isn't she great. Excessive ego.

GERRIE: I wanted to be able like to read and not have to read it again for understanding. So why is it that some individuals can read a paragraph and just--

THERRY: Learning powers is not going to change that; that has to do with your make-up.

GERRIE: My communication?

THERRY: No, your make-up.

GERRIE: Over all?

THERRY: Yea. If you're born with certain memory limits, you're not going to change that. Has to do with your potentials.

GERRIE: `Cause I always thought that they were unlimited. See, I had to focus, re-focus my limitations.

THERRY: Obviously you thought wrong.


THERRY: When you were born, Karma placed certain limitations on you. You're not going to change those. You simply have to adapt to them, so that you can continue living in spite of whatever limitations that you have. It may be true that you may learn many adaptive tools that will give you an apparent overcoming of limitations, but it doesn't change that limitations are still there, and you still have to deal with them. You can't run away from yourself; it don't work that way.

GERRIE: So, that's a matter of focusing your limitations so you can have greater freedoms?


GERRIE: What patterns--so, if I ask you what patterns do you see at this point that I need to work on, you won't--

THERRY: Correct.

GERRIE: So, I have to have total responsibility for the way I see myself, and for the patterns that I want to change?

THERRY: Correct. The key is responsibility for your own future.

GERRIE: So, basically, what's next?

THERRY: That's up to you. You're the one that's in the growing process.

GERRIE: I want to experience the Grand Awakening.

THERRY: That's between you and whatever you conceive the Universe to be. There's nothing that we can do to help you there; all we can do is to make available to you what the laws are. What you do with them is your affair; not ours.

GERRIE: Could I have met you sooner if I would have not been so stubborn?

THERRY: Probably.

GERRIE: Sometimes I seem to be stubborn in my thought patterns. Why is that?

THERRY: Obviously because you want to be.

GERRIE: I already changed.

THERRY: In some areas.

GERRIE: That job is good. It change the situation and I think I'm flexible, and now I'm able to see that the different areas that I was not--I need to adapt and have more flexibility.

THERRY: Has to do with assumptions, doesn't it.

GERRIE: Yea. Or take things for granted. See, I always took it for granted that everyone knew what I knew.


GERRIE: So, I had to change the way I thought.


GERRIE: So, basically, we're out there all by ourselves then.

THERRY: Yep. Isn't that the claim to uniqueness?

GERRIE: Um-hum. If you're within Arkashea, do you still have that claim?


GERRIE: So, it doesn't change just because you follow the laws of Arkashea, the people within Arkashea?

THERRY: Correct. You don't break the laws; the laws cannot be broken. Just because you're capable of having more experiences on other levels which are less binding, it doesn't change the law that on each respective levels, you still have the claim to uniqueness.

GERRIE: The assumptions that I make, I'll give you an example, I always thought that oh, a spaceship will come and land, and I'm going to go to another planet, and study and then come back. Is that because I'm not concentrating on the reality of this level?


GERRIE: It becomes boring.

THERRY: It may be boring, but it doesn't change the fact that you still have to learn to adapt to it.

GERRIE: Is another area was the fact I wanted to be entertained, or have--

THERRY: Others--

GERRIE: --me entertained within a playground,


GERRIE: Within a scenario.

THERRY: Yes. Reality don't work that way. People didn't come down to serve your entertainment, no more than you came down to serve their entertainment.

GERRIE: I'm realizing that once you learn these laws, if you're not totally happy within yourself, the world is just--

THERRY: The world is as it is; you have to change. The world's not going to change to suit you. If there's going to be any change, you're the one that's gonna have to do it. You'll have to change your attitudes and your perspectives. The world is not here for you. It's not your toy. The world is nothing more then an opportunity for growth, or an opportunity for entrapment.

GERRIE: Does visualization help?

THERRY: Yes. It is a tool.

GERRIE: So, what I imagine, `cause I imagine a lot.

THERRY: Oh, really. (laughter)

GERRIE: I mean, my imagination just goes haywire.

THERRY: Sometimes.

GERRIE: Why is that? I mean I feel like if I'm reading something, especially at work, I might create a situation within my visualization process, or my imaginative thinking--

THERRY: Perhaps it's excessive ego playing with itself.

GERRIE: Entertaining itself? Even if it's just the thought of traveling through the Universe?

THERRY: You gotta remember that absolutely everybody has those little fantasies of self-grandizment. Everybody has it in their own way, but they do have it.

GERRIE: I wouldn't call it self-grandizment of people; I think it's a way of them perceiving another reality that--

THERRY: I don't care what color you want to paint a rat, it's still going to be a rat.

GERRIE: So, visualization process in which it's to help you change--

THERRY: It is strictly a tool; like any tool, you can use it improperly.

GERRIE: What would be the proper way to use it?

THERRY: For growth; for understanding.

GERRIE: So, if you visualize that you have a crystal body, and you heal it and cleanse it by Ahh having--

THERRY: Following the laws which are appropriate for the purpose.

GERRIE: For that specific visualization process?


GERRIE: There are laws applies to that too?


GERRIE: And what about the healing process?

THERRY: That's just a law for a purpose.

GERRIE: So, if I want to heal myself--

THERRY: Within the limits allowable by Karma.

GERRIE: So, you're saying I can visualize all day that I can heal myself, and that might not be so?

THERRY: You can do anything you want which is allowable within the framework of free-will. You can do nothing within the framework of Predestiny except experience it.

GERRIE: So, is there a proper way to visualize that is going to be effective?

THERRY: Well, there's a certain level of understanding that you have to accept. Within reality, you can imagine and believe yourself to be a tree all you want, and that's not going to make you a tree.

GERRIE: Then what can we do?

THERRY: I already told you. Everything which is allowable within free-will.

GERRIE: If I visualize--let's say I'm real sick and I visualize that I heal myself, and it does take place. It took place because I have the free-will?

THERRY: That is correct.

GERRIE: So, really, I won't know the due process 'til after it occurs?

THERRY: Yes. There's no guarantee; people seldom know the limitations of their free-will, and the limitations of Predestiny.

GERRIE: So, basically, the only guide I have right now are the laws that I have read.

THERRY: That's the only thing you can depend upon absolutely. Remember, there's much that you don't know about law yet.

GERRIE: I know every time I pick a different book, there's another set of laws--I was thinking that's why I ask you how long I have left to read.

THERRY: Oh, you're a long way from accepting everything that is there to be had. You just began. Seems to me you're showing a little bit of impatience there.

GERRIE: Ah, well, that's another question. How can I gain--I have a lot of patience, and sometimes it runs out and sometimes it don't.

THERRY: Uh-huh. The only thing I can tell you is when the pain's big enough, you'll change.

GERRIE: I've already changed. I figure I have a solid job which I'm sure I can get out of... I thought, oops.

THERRY: Investigate being a lawyer.

GERRIE: That's, that's where that knowledge came in, that's what I was now thinking the fact that sometimes I feel like well, I don't I'm smart enough to be a lawyer, How would it give, I mean, would that, would you give guidance to--

THERRY: You're good at memory. You're good at thinking; you're good at viewing varying differences. That's all a lawyer does. They--

GERRIE: I'm good at investigating.

THERRY: Right, and researching, and they have--all they do is they see a problem and they remember and search out a law that will take care of that problem, and they take it to court using that law. That's all a lawyer does. It has all of the tools that you, you possess all of the tools that are necessary to be a lawyer. You possess the passion, you possess the tenacity, you possess the deductive reasoning, so you do possess the capabilities. Now it's up to you to decide if you really want to be or not. You keep saying you want to help others. Well, let's find out if that's true.

GERRIE: They have a lot of areas within that degree.

THERRY: It doesn't matter what area, you're still helping somebody. And the only way you're helping yourself is by gaining money.

GERRIE: Well, how long would the process between now to the point that I become an Observer, how long would that take?

THERRY: That depends on you. We don't have anything to say about it; that's up to you. It depends on your tenacity.

GERRIE: To Ask you?

THERRY: No, to grow up. You see, Arkashea is not a place where you can come to run away from the world to. It is not our purpose to shelter people from their responsibilities.

GERRIE: Yea, but who determines if the individual has grown up or not? That's you, right?

THERRY: No, you do. I simply read in you your state of contentment, and when I find that your state of contentment is proper; that you're no longer running away from your responsibilities, then I'll accept you in Arkashea. But so long as you're running away from life, you're running away from your responsibilities, I won't accept you in Arkashea.

GERRIE: When you mean responsibilities, what do you actually mean, because to me that means--

THERRY: If you're going to find contentment, if you're going to be happy, you're going to have to be able to do it for yourself. You can't expect others to make you happy. You can't expect others to give you information; you have to go seek it out. You can't expect others to make you entertained, you have to be able to do that yourself. You can't expect others to do anything at all for you; you have to do it for yourself. And, you've got to be happy doing it that way. You can't expect others to support you; you have to support yourself financially. We, on the other hand, will support you morally; we'll give you counseling when you need it, we'll help you understand the laws of what's happening, but you can't expect us to manipulate those laws in order to make you happy; you have to do that for yourself.

GERRIE: Then my weight patterns will change?

THERRY: Yes. And some of your compulsions will change.

GERRIE: My what?

THERRY: Compulsions.

GERRIE: Compulsiveness?

THERRY: Yea, things that you feel you must do.

GERRIE: But I think that's ingrained from my parents.

THERRY: It doesn't matter where they come from.

GERRIE: Why, in general, do I have a tendency, well I have to do this, and you set things, almost like setting yourself up.

THERRY: Well, in a way that's what it is.

GERRIE: It's whatever game you wish to play.

THERRY: Yes, but you also have to bear in mind that that is not necessarily bad.

GERRIE: Oh, well, if it causes pain, it's bad.


GERRIE: If you feel like it's a sense of duty, then it's not.

THERRY: It's not necessarily good, either. For you to do something wherein you're not contented, it's not good. You have to find relative contentment within your life, within your own heart. And when you can do that within yourself, so that you can look at yourself in the mornings and say hey, I kind of like what I'm doing, then we'll accept you in Arkashea. So, long as you look at yourself and you say I really don't know what I want; I'm not happy; I want to keep changing, you're not ready to join Arkashea.

GERRIE: So, basically, right now, if I was to change, I thought maybe it was a change of attitude with my job--

THERRY: That's only part of it. Obviously, in order to make any changes, the changes has to be on an attitude level. Sometimes you can't change an attitude right away, so you change the behavior, and with time, the attitudes change along with the behavior. Sometimes that doesn't work.

GERRIE: But a lot of happiness sometimes is restricted to financial needs.

THERRY: But it doesn't have to be. That's one of the areas where attitude makes a difference.

GERRIE: So basically I could really make myself happy where I'm at if I decided to.


GERRIE: And be content and say oh this is what I really want to do.

THERRY: If that is what you want to do.

GERRIE: But in the end I can't fool myself.

THERRY: Correct. Again, my recommendation is look to become a lawyer.

GERRIE: I've been checking on scholarships for aviation; they have them for helicopters, so maybe I can look into that and see what they've got. But in order to even be accepted, in law schools, is very difficult.

THERRY: Does it matter?

GERRIE: No, unless you try. That's difficult based on information from other people; but I haven't really tried. You have to take tests, and all that, so there's a lot of factors involved.


GERRIE: And you don't know if you don't try.

THERRY: In short you have to pay your dues; nothing is for free. That's part of taking responsibility for your own future.

GERRIE: So, even all the people in Arkashea up to now, they had to go through the same process where they're pretty content where `cause I feel like some of them are really young.

THERRY: What's that got to do with it?

GERRIE: They had not gone through the process of Ahh... for example going through college or having their job by the time they got here.

THERRY: College has got nothing to do with it.

GERRIE: So, basically, what you're saying is they knew what they wanted to do before they came to Arkashea?

THERRY: Yes. They had accepted the responsibility for their own future. They didn't expect other people to do things for them.

GERRIE: But right now, wouldn't you say that I'm responsible for my future within the fact that I get up, I go to work, I make a living--

THERRY: But you're not happy, you're not stable, you keep running away from almost anything you encounter.

GERRIE: Example?

THERRY: Job to job to job to job. Concept to concept to concept to concept. You assume all over the place. You can't--you find it very difficult to keep your mouth shut; you always have to get on a preacher box, and start telling other people what to do with their lives. Here, you don't even know what to do with your own life, but you're still, you're telling other people what to do with theirs.

GERRIE: Now I don't do that as much now.

THERRY: How much do you have to do it before you still do it? You can't be a little bit pregnant; you either are or you ain't.

GERRIE: I'm finding out in that case I'll never say anything.

THERRY: (laughter) That's the mark of wisdom. You notice I never say anything to anybody `'til they ask me a question. If they don't ask me a question, I don't talk. It's not necessary that you get on a soap box and constantly tell others what to do in order for you to be happy.

GERRIE: Sometimes I feel like patterns--give you an example--see my mom was always like that; I don't know, I think she might still be--

THERRY: Isn't that part of the face in the cradle thing?

GERRIE: Uh-huh. So, do we, did I imitate her? Do I still imitate her a lot?

THERRY: Wasn't that part of acculturation?

GERRIE: Um-hum. Well it--over there everybody's always telling you what to do. It's just normal, you know?

THERRY: I rest my case.

GERRIE: See, sometimes I don't feel like going home because all my Mom does, she still preaches all the time to me--nag, nag nag, nag.

THERRY: And you know how you don't like it? So, what makes you think other people likes it anymore when you do it to them?

GERRIE: So, a neat example is that there's this guy going to high school and because of several things that I know that maybe could help him get a scholarship, sometimes I feel like helping him.

THERRY: But are you really helping him, or are you just interfering?

GERRIE: Then, I thought, forget it, cause he didn't seem interested. He doesn't say, hey, let's go to the library. So, I thought, well, I--

THERRY: Don't you have enough to mind your own business? You have to mind somebody else's business all the time?

GERRIE: That's why I was getting to this example because I feel like, ooh, you know, his mother's divorced, they don't have much money, and I feel like, well, there's some knowledge here that I have that might or might not help him if he's willing to go to the library. So, since he took no interest, I thought, well--

THERRY: Why are you thinking about him at all? Don't you have enough to think about you? Do you have to steal somebody else's problems? Don't you think he's got enough brains in his head that if he wanted your help maybe he'd be able to ask for it?

GERRIE: So, you're saying I have to help myself more.


GERRIE: In that case, god, I'll be a hermit; won't go anywhere, won't help anybody! (laughter) I mean, these people are constantly calling me and I feel like sometimes you can attract your own weaknesses.

THERRY: Of course you do, and your light also attracts others who need help, but that doesn't give you an excuse to get on a soap box.

GERRIE: Okay, `cause she also wanted me, for example, to go to court because something came up with him so when people ask sometimes--

THERRY: Just because they ask that doesn't give you license to automatically charge in like a bull in a china shop.

GERRIE: Leave that for the court trials, huh?

THERRY: Right.

GERRIE: `Cause then I could re-channel all that energy maybe into another area which would benefit others, and myself within its contents.

THERRY: Yep. It is far better to teach another individual to do something for themselves, then it is for you to do it for them. If you teach them to do it for themselves, then they don't need you anymore, and perhaps that's what's bothering you.

GERRIE: Oh, I looked that up in a psychology book once, because I noticed that pattern where they always help people, always help people, and they, you have to find out if it might be ego related. Rescue--the rescuer, that's what the psychology book called it.

THERRY: Well, I don't know about that, but I do know that people who have a need to help others, create victims, and they won't let their victims go.

GERRIE: Yea, that's exactly what it said. You have the rescuer and you have the victim and they play a role within each other for mutual needs.


GERRIE: So, all this stuff about helping people and trying to be kind, and all this, is just a bunch of, um--

THERRY: Just a game that you're playing to satisfy yourself; you're not helping them any.

GERRIE: People are not raised like that, do you know that?

THERRY: I know it. But that doesn't change the law. You don't help anybody when you do things for them. You're just creating a victim to satisfy your own aggrandizement. If you want to help them, teach them to do it for themselves, so that way they don't need you.

GERRIE: The other problem was at work there's a lady named Darla. What learning lessons were there with lady, because I was just amazed at the transformation or the changes that occurred between me and her. And I wasn't sure how to handle the situation, so I decided that because of interaction that became hostile--

THERRY: If it became hostile, it's because she viewed you as being intrusive. In short, you didn't know when to keep your mouth shut; mind your own business.

GERRIE: Is that what occurred, that?

THERRY: Yea. Very few people really want other people's advice. Usually they like to complain, but they really don't want to other people to tell them what to do. It's just a game. They want other people to say, oh, gee, she's so this, she's so that, she goes through this, she goes through that, but they really don't want to change; that's what they want. They want the adoration. They don't want anything from you except that you should be their audience-hooray (claps)

GERRIE: `Cause I thought that she would be different because she had gone to a monastery for seven, ten years--

THERRY: Big deal.

GERRIE: I know. So, you see that was like a blow ah, another blow within my illusion, because I had created an image of someone that I thought I could communicate with; I had made an assumption based on her--what she had told me about her monastery years.


GERRIE: And, she's very knowledgeable, and I just never thought that she would react--her emotions were--

THERRY: The fact that she's not in the monastery indicates that she has her own way of doing things.

GERRIE: No, she says that her teacher is on another level now and she's not on this plane of existence.

THERRY: Bullshit.

GERRIE: I think she died, I'm not sure.

THERRY: It's still bullshit.

GERRIE: Yea. `Cause I tend to believe a lot of what people say--why is that? I mean it's just--

THERRY: Perhaps it's part of the game you like to play.

GERRIE: It's easier to believe instead of to do your own thinking?

THERRY: Yea, that way you don't have to take responsibility.

GERRIE: When will I be able to learn more?

THERRY: That's a kind of a silly question, isn't it?

GERRIE: Umm, I mean like, I wanted to know what your alter does.

THERRY: Well, that's easy enough. When you finish learning the laws of reality, and the laws of creation, then we can explain to you what each of those things are and what they do. You will discover that they are nothing more than a language which reminds you of the laws. Everyone of the laws which you have learned are there.

GERRIE: Yea, I saw that chain; that's neat. Cause I want to know why--

THERRY: Uh-huh. You read about the Brothers of the Chain, you read about the different levels of creation, how each link is nothing more than one more level. That's nothing but law.

GERRIE: So, basically, when an individual sits there, what--do you teach--

THERRY: It's a language.

GERRIE: What do you teach `em?


GERRIE: Same laws that I've been reading about?


GERRIE: And that will initiate the process of what takes place right there?


GERRIE: So, I know that what I've read brought me down back to earth.( laughter) I mean I feel like the communication process was really hurting; I feel like I was so fragmented. And I thought, well, you know, I'm back to restructuring the foundation. Another thing that I went through for a while was wanting to predict the future. Where did that--all that--was that there for a purpose?

THERRY: Possibly.

GERRIE: Cause I felt I couldn't pull out of it.

THERRY: I think everybody has that to a degree.

GERRIE: But I guess to be fascinated. You see now it gets to the point that people will still ask me to read the tarot, and I won't do it now.

THERRY: That's good.

GERRIE: So it's best just to not even--to start just getting away?


GERRIE: I noticed that people have kinda dropped out of my path. They're there, it's like I'm on the same frequency, but somehow they're not part of that frequency. See, like, they might be in town, but I never see them. Why is that?

THERRY: Perhaps because they're no longer necessary for your future, or you're no longer necessary for theirs.

GERRIE: See, it's almost like they disappeared, but they're in the same town.

THERRY: So what?

GERRIE: So I've noticed that--

THERRY: Is it necessary for everybody in the same town to be involved with you?

GERRIE: No, but I--

THERRY: Perhaps that's the response, right there.

GERRIE: So once the situation of the individual is not necessary, then it changes.


GERRIE: I can control that?

THERRY: No, sometimes Karma controls that. It all depends on if it's in free-will or Predestiny. Sometimes some people are not involved in some games, and therefore you don't see them.

GERRIE: That's what I had thought so too that as far as my working environment, the people there, we have a pattern, very strong pattern, and you know what that is, but I feel like maybe, that's why I was asking if the Universe decides that it's karmic, therefore they put the people within a situation and it might come through a job or it might come through another means.

THERRY: Sometimes it's that way, but it doesn't have to be that way all the time.

Note: the next session (013) continues this conversation